More Alive Because of Death

Preparing for my monthly, community-centered Death Café, I always keep a few thoughtful questions in my back pocket to open the conversation. This morning, as I reflected on recent events—personal, national, and global—I was reminded of something that feels both obvious and profound:

When you sit where I do as an end-of-life doula, you can’t help but see the world through the lens of mortality. Death and dying aren’t separate from life—they’re woven into everything.

Scrolling through my social feeds, I’m met with beautiful, hope-filled posts announcing the arrival of new grandbabies. There is joy. There is celebration. There is possibility. And I genuinely love seeing it. Despite the assumptions people sometimes make about this work, I am not someone who lives in the shadows. I am deeply, unapologetically drawn to joy.

In fact, this work has done the opposite of what many expect—it has intensified my appreciation for living.

Because alongside those joyful beginnings, I also bear witness to endings. Too often, I sit with people whose lives are closing while carrying regret, sorrow, or a quiet list of “I wish I had…”

Living and Dying | The Rythm of Humanity

The numbers alone are sobering. In the United States, roughly 8,000–8,500 people die each day—more than 58,000 every week. At the same time, about 69,000 babies are born each week. Life and death, arriving and departing, in constant rhythm.

And layered into that rhythm is something harder to hold.

Even a cursory look at recent data shows thousands of violence-related deaths in just the past couple of months. We continue to witness acts of harm—in schools, neighborhoods, and places of worship—that leave us stunned, heartbroken, and often feeling powerless.

This is the world we are living in.

So the question I find myself carrying into this month’s Death Café is this:

What would change if we lived with a deeper awareness of both our fragility and our privilege to be here?

Not in a fearful way—but in a way that calls us to be more present, more intentional, and more aligned with what truly matters.

Because the truth is, we are all part of this same rhythm—arriving, living, and eventually, leaving.

The question is:How do we want to live in the time we’re given?